Deviation Actions
Literature Text
Keepers are said to be departed souls who return to the metaphysical world to provide guidance for fellow humans. Keepers are not guardian angels; they have not ascended into heaven. Keepers are souls who have once been human, whether it was 1000 years ago or yesterday. The legend says that keepers can come in many forms; a faint presence, a glowing orb, or even in the form of a human being with flesh and bones. Not much is known about Keepers apart from ancient legends written thousands of years ago. It is said that every human has a keeper, but many are unaware as keepers manifest themselves in various different ways.
The legend says that keepers come back to Earth to guide us but are able to retreat to their vortex beyond this universe since their souls are free. Since the atomic energy that composes their souls can vibrate at two places at one time, they are free to come and go as they please. Energy cannot be created nor destroyed, and our human bodies are nothing but a transition phase for the soul; we come from nothing and we are nothing when we die. But not all souls become keepers, nobody knows why some are somehow selected to return to Earth, but for some reason they do. Keepers keep many secrets and are a mystery to earthly beings, but they only feed off two things; love and truth.
I was lying on my bed crying, with only the street light down below illuminating parts of my room in the dark night. The street lights generated enough light for me to clearly see the fresh wounds on my arm and the bloody razor blade on my night table next to my bed. As tears escape my ears everything became a blur of faint colors as the dim light could not penetrate through the tears. My body ached with stress and despair, my mind felt like a bomb about to blow and my heart was crying out for help. I wished that the sheets could just have suffocated me in my wake. My whole world seemed like it was coming down, crashing hard as it hit the ground. My soul shattered under the fire of pain and the absence of momentary hope.
Each vertebrate in my spin seemed to throb, begging my mind to cease the pain and my heart seemed to shake my entire core. The cuts on my arm burned as the blood coagulated and sealed my skin together again. I thought it would’ve helped me forget the emotional pain but it didn’t; my whole body was declaring a state of emergency. One by one all my hopes had vanished just the same. My erratic breathing seemed to slow as my mind gradually shut down. I felt like my pain resonated throughout the entire universe, maybe it did.
I let out a sigh of relief as my tense body seemed to relax. It was almost like a hand touched my every aching bone and filled it with the essence of serenity. I couldn’t move onto my back, but I felt a presence behind me. As my mind became more aware of my surroundings I realized that something was indeed touching me, it wasn’t just in my head. But I wasn’t afraid, I felt a sense of calm and pure bliss sweep over me. I eventually managed to sit up in my bed and look at what was behind me. A young man about my age was sitting there right next to me with one hand on my shoulder, easing up the tension. Needing comfort, I latched onto him and he took me in his arms as I kept on crying. His body was warm, and he had a heartbeat! His gentle touch relaxed my racing mind and brought it to a peaceful place. The rhythm of his heart soothed me and brought me to a place almost beyond this world. He was a godsend! I clutched onto him, never wanting him to leave.
“Please, please don’t go!” I whispered in a hoarse voice. “I never will,” he whispered in a soft voice.
I wrapped my arms around him and caressed his soft skin the same way he caressed mine. His body was warm against mine and I completely indulged. I tilted my head up to look at him and grabbed a strand of his long hair. The young man had long sandy wavy hair and pale blue eyes on pale white skin. He had a long face and little pink lips with no distinctive features other than his long grunge-era hairstyle. He looked at me with sad yet sympathetic eyes and softly stroked the skin of my face, wiping away my tears. Eventually, I fell asleep in his hold and woke up a few hours later, still in his arms with my head on his chest listening to his steadily beating heart. I climbed up over him and let my chin rest on his chest as I looked deeply into his eyes in awe. My keeper.
“What’s your name?” I ask him in a soft whisper.
“Kevin,” he whispered back to me in a gentle tone.
“Are you my keeper?” I ask.
“Yes I am,” he replies with a gentle smile and his hands caressing my face,” I am always going to be here for you.”
I rested on my side and he positioned himself behind me and wrapped his strong arms around me. I placed my little hand in his and closed my eyes.
“Can you stay with me tonight?” I ask him.
“I will be with you every moment of every day,” he reassured me, “now get some sleep.”
He held me close and I drifted away to a far away world to the sound of his breathing. I woke up the next morning some ten minutes before my alarm clock. Kevin was still there, hold me. I turned over to face him, filled with exhilaration at the thought of my very own keeper. I was so relieved to have someone there to hold me and love me unconditionally like only a keeper could. His body was so warm and his touch so gentle. It was everything I needed, and I never wanted Kevin to leave.
He let go of me and sat up on my bed and I sat up next to him. He wore some black cargo pants and a plain back shirt. His unruly hair was gold-like in the sunlight coming through the window of my room. He looked so sublime, he was perfect. He took my arm into his hand and turned it so he could see my scars. He pressed it to his lips and each cut disappeared with every kiss. I watched in awe as the scars all faded away. I touched where they used to be because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I didn’t even know Kevin but I already had so much reverence for him because he loved my so passionately and so purely. My skin was soft, there was absolutely no evidence that I had ever cut myself there.
“Are they going to come back?”
“Not if you don’t make them come back.” “How is that even possible?”
“It’s possible in my world.”
Kevin gave me a tender kiss on the forehead.
“Are you like my guardian angel?”
“No, I’m just a keeper. Angels are from a completely different world. I don’t know exactly how they come about their business, but angels are not human. I am.”
He took my hands into his and I leaned over and put my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes and clutched onto him. My keeper. I was so grateful to have him by my side. I knew nothing about keepers or much about life in the first place, but the young man next to me made me see a whole new facade of it that I hadn’t been able to appreciate before. I had given up but he had given me that faint glimmer of hope that I had been so desperately needing.
“So you were human before?”
“Yeah, I was a create of the earth before this, just like you.”
“Do all dead people become keepers?”
“I have no idea dear. I don’t know why or how I got here. I don’t know much more than I did back when I was still human. I don’t know if this is a punishment for what I’ve done or my chance to redeem myself.”
“What did you do?”
“I did something bad and I guess now I’m paying for it. But just know that I love you.”
My alarm clock went off to disturb our perfect moment and Kevin patted me on the shoulder, indicating that it was time to get up and get ready for the day. I reluctantly got up and picked out some clothes out of my closet. I grabbed some faded blue jeans and a purple shirt with black stripes. When I turned around to talk to Kevin I noticed that he was no longer in my room. I looked all over but he wasn’t there. He was gone. I was disappointed and frustrated that he had disappeared just like he had never came in the first place.
“Hey don’t worry, I’m still here!” he said as he came up behind me and pulled me into a tight embrace.
I put my arms around him in return and instantly found relief. He kissed my neck and I went back to getting ready for school.
“Am I the only one who sees you?” I inquired as I was brushing my long brown hair.
“Well, not really,” Kevin replied, seemingly thinking hard, “you see, keepers feed off energy humans give us and if it’s needed we can appear to others but that’s rather rare.”
“What kind of energy are you talking about?”
“Love. Right now I’m replenished on energy but to have me around like this in the future you’ll have to emerge yourself in agape.It is the purest form of love, unconditional love. Feel agape from deep inside your heart and soul and I’ll be here, always.”
I closed my eyes and let the love flow from inside of me for a short while but I couldn’t sustain it.
“Don’t worry, it’ll come.” Kevin reassured me, “For the moment just focus on the now. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Kevin?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you hear my thoughts?”
“No, but I can feel everything you feel. That’s where the agape energy comes in. No matter what, I will comfort you if you want me around.”
I touched his hand just to remind myself that he was real and smiled to myself. I felt so much relief from the inside out. I felt like I could take a breath without it burning like fire deep inside.
“How long will you be here?”
“I don’t know, but don’t worry about that alright?”
I smiled at him and finished getting dressed, putting on some light eyeliner to compliment my hazel eyes and tied my hair up in a ponytail since I couldn’t get it to be the way I wanted it. I walked downstairs into the kitchen where my mother was making breakfast with my two younger sisters. Ever since my dad had died when I was seven, things were awkward at the table. There was a piece of the family missing and even after nine and a half years, the pain was no less. I had always been daddy’s girl, but my daddy was gone. My youngest sister Carrie wasn’t even born when he died so she was lucky to escape the pain I was constantly feeling.
“Well you’re up early!” my mother commented as I walked into the kitchen.
“Yeah I’m gonna walk to school and grab some breakfast at Gilmore’s on my way there.”
We said goodbye to each other and I walked out the door. Kevin walked with me and grabbed a hold of my hand as we neared the end of the driveway. He held my hand as we passed over the bridge and headed over to Gilmore’s. We both walked into the small restaurant and stood in line behind a few other hungry customers.
“Do you eat?” I asked Kevin.
“I can,” he replied looking at me with tender eyes, “but I don’t have to.” “Do people know you’re here with me?”
“No, they don’t. They aren’t aware of anything.”
I ordered one of Gilmore’s world famous bacon and egg sandwiches and headed back out with Kevin following me. We walked hand-in-hand all the way to school as I ate my breakfast sandwich with the other hand. Despite the frigid morning air, Kevin kept me warm with his overwhelming presence.
“Do you know what happened here?” I asked Kevin as we walked into the school’s parking lot.
“No,” he whispered to me, “I don’t know anything.”
I swallowed hard and clutched his hand tightly. “Well, I guess you’ll find out.”
The two of us walked in and made our way down the halls to where the memorials were set up on the wall.
“What went on here?” Kevin asked me in a soft whisper.
“Two girls got killed in a drunk driving accident two weeks ago.” I replied in a shaky voice, “I’m the one who was supposed to be the designated driver but I bailed early.”
Kevin put his arm around me and comforted me greatly as the memories of that night came back to haunt me.
“While they were bleeding to death in that car wreck I was goofing off with a homeless man at the corner store on the end of the street here. I stopped in to buy a snack on my way home and I ended up giving it to him. He was a cool old dude you know. We sat there as he ate his chips and told me about his life before his daughter got killed in a drunk driving accident.”
I broke down crying and Kevin hugged me tightly. I couldn’t shake that thought out of my mind. I bailed on my friends to hang out with a homeless man who told me some heartbreaking story of how he lost his precious daughter while my friends were actually dying in the same kind of nightmare.
“Don’t blame yourself for this, this isn’t your fault.”
“I know it isn’t, but some people blame me anyway.”
Kevin looked at me with compassion in his eyes as he stroked my cheek with his big hand. I remembered that he could feel everything I felt too. He hurt just as much as I did. Kevin’s loving hand calmed me down and comforted me like he had promised me he would. I held him tightly in my arms and indulged into the serenity his aura gave off.
“I know it wasn’t my fault that they got behind the wheel drunk and I know that they could’ve called a cap or someone else could’ve taken them home but there’s just this part of me that hates myself so much for not being there when my friends needed me the most.”
Most people didn’t blame me at all, but some of the girls’ closest friends needed someone to blame for their poor judgment that night and that person ended up being me. While the majority were supportive, the few who gave me harsh words really got to me. They made sure to remind me every day that both of them were dead and it was because of me. They really made me believe that if I hadn’t bailed early, things might have gone differently. At times, I believed it too. I wiped my tears and walked to my first class holding Kevin’s hand. I squeezed it as it brought me comfort to know that I was no alone. I walked around the classroom aimlessly before finding a seat.
“Does this mean you can give me all the answers?” I jokingly asked him trying to lighten the mood.
“Only the ones I know,” he replied laughing, I’m good in language and science but not so much in math.”
“You don’t have supreme understanding of the universe now that you’re dead?” “Not here. I only know what I learned on Earth and what I can currently observe.” “Do you believe in multiple lives, you know, considering you’re still here?”
“It would be inappropriate to say that I don’t, but this isn’t exactly my idea of the afterlife.”
“I guess that makes you the perfect companion for me because this isn’t exactly my definition of a life either.”
I finally picked out a seat at the back of the room at sat down. Kevin sat next to me and reassuringly placed his hand on my knee.
“That’s why I’m here,” he replied as he leaned over and kissed me in response to my feelings.
“Do you see other people’s keepers too?” I inquired to make conversation before the bell rang.
“No, it’s just you and me.”
“That’s kinda cool. I guess we both have a lot to learn about life.”
“I’ll make sure you have a good one, that’s my promise to you. I know that I was sent to you for a reason and I won’t screw this up. I know you have a lot of questions and I don’t have a lot of answers, but just know that I love you and you are not alone.”
I placed my hand into Kevin’s and let his love and strength wash over and guide me for the rest of the day. My school day went without incident. I stayed away from most people except this freshman girl named Rosanna, who asked me for directions in the big school. The two of us ended up sitting together at lunch with Kevin sitting behind me, completely unnoticed.
“Man, sometimes I wish I was invisible like you,” I muttered to him.
“No you don’t. Life is something to be cherished and celebrated. I wasted mine. Heck it hadn’t even started yet, but it’s gone.”
“So does that mean that I will get old but you won’t?”
“That’s right, I’m always going to be seventeen and I’m always going to carry around regret.”
After Rosanna and I finished eating, I sat down in a deserted hallway to spend some time alone with Kevin before my next class.
“What is it that you did that could possibly be so bad?” I ask him, “Did you commit suicide or something?”
“Yes I did.” Kevin’s voice was nothing but a soft whisper.
I took him into a hug and held him tightly.
“How long ago?” I asked him.
“Longer than you’ve been alive. But I’m here now and if I can make things right for you it will have made it all worth it.” he replied in a sympathetic voice.
“I love you already Kevin.” I whispered in his ear and squeezed him tightly.
I could see that he was a broken young man but that he had a big heart. He wanted to make things right and I desperately needed someone to comfort me and to help me deal with the pain of losing two of my closest friends. I hated myself for what happened to them instead of being grateful to God that it wasn’t me. My parents said it was some sort of survivor’s guilt or something but I didn’t really understand my own emotions anymore. Why did I feel the way I did? I didn’t know.
After school I walked home with Kevin and sat down on my bed next to him. I slouched my head over his shoulder and cried. He held me close and his presence was very comforting since nobody had really been there for me. My dad wasn’t around and my mom worked long hours plus she had other children who were still young to take care of. Kevin and I laid down on my bed and I let my head rest on his chest. He ran his gentle fingers through my hair and serenity swept over me. I indulged in the love and comfort he gave me. I didn’t know him but I already loved him. I knew that a keeper’s love was infinite, even though my limited human understanding could never comprehend it.
“Does everyone have a keeper like you?” I ask him as I looked into his deep blue eyes. “I don’t know how it all works,” he admitted, “but I do believe that everyone is watched over whether they are aware of it or not.”
“Did you watch over me before this?”
“No, all of this is new, I’ve never done anything like this before. I died nearly two decades ago but it’s only now that I’ve come back so to speak. I don’t know where all that time went, because I don’t remember it.”
“Well you’re here now, don’t ever leave.”
“I won’t.”
During the first few weeks of school after the accident, Kevin was always there by my side in each moment, but after that he only came by when I gave him agape. The trade of energy between us was overflowing and it was easy to sustain. During the hard moments I only had to think of him and his loving arms were around me. I spent every night with him and brought him everywhere with me. I spoke to him at length before I went to sleep and he became so much more than just someone to watch over me. He was my best friend, my protector and my lifeline.
“I love you Arlene,” Kevin whispered to me just before I went to sleep.
“I love you too Kevin,” I whispered back, “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Honey, who are you walking to?” my mother asks as she was passing down the hall. “Nobody,” I replied in an absent-minded tone.
“You were obviously talking to somebody,” she pressed on as she walked into my room. “I was talking to myself,” I dismissed.
She didn’t make too much of a big deal out of it but told me that I should get help to deal with my grief. What she didn’t know was that I did have help, he was holding me in his arms. I also ended up forming a friendship with Rosanna. She was my only real friend left after Sabrina and Melanie died. Their friends didn’t like me because they blamed me for their deaths but Rosanna was very understanding and supportive. By the end of the school year we were best buds. She had just moved to the community during spring break, during the same time as the accident, and I was the only person who had really welcomed her.
I ended up spending my summer with Kevin and Rosanna at her grandparents’ farm in upstate Wisconsin. My mother thought it was a good idea and she was right. It gave me a new perspective on both my life and the tragedy as well as giving me a good opportunity to get my emotions in check. Rosanna’s grandparents had a beautiful antique-style home and warmly opened its doors to me. Rosanna and I had to share a room and each night after she fell asleep I had my nightly conversations with Kevin. He was always faithfully by my side with his head resting on the pillows and his sandy- colored all over my face. I had been the happiest since the accident.
“Who is that Kevin guy you talk to at night?” Rosanna asked me one evening before we went to bed.
I was taken aback that she knew about Kevin but I also realized that it was my own fault that I hadn’t been more discrete about it. Not wanting her to think that I was crazy, I decided to tell her the truth about Kevin.
“He’s my keeper,” I told her.
“Do you really believe in all that keeper stuff?” she asked me, seemingly confused. “He’s real real Rosanna, he’s been with me ever since the accident.”
“Good for you, I’m really happy for you.”
She didn’t seem to believe me at first but she was fine with it. She embraced Kevin even though she couldn’t see him, touch him or interact with him. At night she even gave me an extra pillow and an extra blanket for him even though he didn’t need it. For a while I acted as some sort of mediator between Kevin and Rosanna so they could communicate with each other. After some time Rosanna came to believe that Kevin was indeed real and that the legend was true. I told her about agape and all the valuable lessons about life and love that Kevin taught me. She was just as amazed when she heard my stories as I was when Kevin shared them with me.
At the end of the summer we both returned home to our normal lives and returned to school in September. During that whole time Kevin never left my side. During one hot afternoon we got a spare in our last class so Rosanna and I decided to hang out outside in a nearby park and that’s where she saw Kevin for the first time. For the first time she could see him like I did, complete with flesh and blood and everything. The three of us were equally mystified and overjoyed at the same time.
“I’m so happy to finally meet you!” Rosanna exclaimed once he appeared to her. “Me too!” Kevin exclaimed too as he wrapped his arms around her.
I could tell by the sparkle in Rosanna’s eyes that the transfer of energy because Kevin and her was amazing. I smiled as I watcher her grab a strand of his hair and stroke his cheek. The three of us reveled at being able to finally all be together in a way that we could equally enjoy ourselves. Rosanna didn’t seem to be in touch with her own keeper though, but Kevin was always with us when we were together. Kevin and Rosanna loved each other as much as I loved them, it was nothing short of wonderful to be always surrounded by such love.
All that wonderful love was dampened when my mother got a call from Rosanna’s parents saying that Rosanna and I had some weird obsession over this imaginary boyfriend we both had and that they didn’t want me to hang out with her anymore. I felt so betrayed that she would do something like that to me after having believed to the point that Kevin actually revealed himself to her. And not to mention the months we spent together making memories of the three of us! I was so hurt by what she did that it felt like that car crash all over again. Maybe she hadn’t died, but she certainly felt dead to me. Even Kevin seemed to be heartbroken over the situation.
“This Kevin person, was he the one you’ve been talking to when you said you had been talking to yourself these past few month?” my mother asked me.
“Mom, Kevin is real,” I insisted, “Rosanna sees him too!”
“No she doesn’t honey, she only went along with it because she’s concerned about you and your wellbeing.”
“What are you talking about mom? The three of us spent so much time together!” “After the accident happened you were grieving and you made up Kevin to help you cope with your loss.”
“No I did not!”
“It’s good to turn to spirituality to help you cope with your loss and to hold on to a future hope but sweetie, Kevin isn’t real.”
“Yes he is mom! He’s real, he’s right here!”
Kevin was faithfully by my side during the whole ordeal but he told me not to defend our relationship. I didn’t listen to his advice and my mother ended up telling me that I was delusional and that I needed therapy. The next morning at school Rosanna approached me just like nothing had happened, like she had never betrayed Kevin and I.
“How dare you!” I shouted at her in front of everyone as she approached me in the hallway.
“Arlene, listen,” she pleaded, “let me explain, this is just a big misunderstanding!”
“No Rosanna, there’s nothing to explain.”
“Arlene please, I had to make up a lie so my parents don’t lock me up in the psych ward! I believe Kevin is real, I know he is!”
“Well I’m the one who is going to be locked up in the psych ward now!”
“I’m sorry Arlene, please forgive me, I was just trying to protect myself. And where’s Kevin? I want to apologize to him too.”
Kevin had been right there the entire time but Rosanna seemed to be oblivious to his presence. He was invisible to her again.
“You can’t see him because he hates you!” I snapped back before I turned around and walked out of the building and broke down crying on the sidewalk.
“I don’t hate her sweetie,” Kevin whispered to me as he took me in his hold, “and you shouldn’t either.”
“I guess it’s just you a me now,” I whispered to him as I buried my face in his chest.
He held me tightly as he always did and I ended up ditching my first class that morning so I could spent time alone outside with him. He advised against it but I wanted to be with him in the cool morning air to collect my thoughts. My mother was called since I had skipped class and I got in trouble again because of it. In defiance to my mother asking why I skipped class, I told her that I wanted to spend time alone with Kevin. I knew it wasn’t going to help anything but I wasn’t going to give up on Kevin over some hypocrites and unbelievers.
Rosanna still wanted to be my friend after the whole thing but I no longer wanted anything to do with her. Kevin encouraged me time and time again to forgive her and take her back but I was too hurt to do so after the betrayal. Rosanna didn’t really have any friends other than me but I had Kevin and he was all that mattered. I loved him so much and I wasn’t about to give up after all that he had done for me. My parents sent me to therapy and I told my therapist all about how wonderful Kevin was because I did not want to forsake him over a lie any longer. He told me on numerous occasions to deny him but I loved him too much for that and I made sure to show him that his endless love for me was reciprocated.
I spent long nights in my room by myself with Kevin since I had no more friends and things between my mother and I were hostile. She had convinced herself that I had some mental illness that made me crazy because I was seeing people who weren’t there and that I needed therapy. It hurt me deeply but it was comforting to know that Kevin was there. I could clearly see in his eyes that he was hurting too since he could feel everything I felt but a keeper’s love was infinite and he wasn’t about to give up on me. I wasn’t about to give up on him either over some notion that I was completely crazy.
“You should forgive Rosanna,” Kevin whispered to me one night while he was holding me tight.
“I know I should,” I replied tiredly, “but I’m still so hurt Kevin.”
“I know you are, but remember that I’m here for you and I’ll help you heal. That’s why I’m here in the first place! And make peace with your mother, dear.”
“She’s the one who’s going to have to make peace with me!”
I cried thinking about all the hurtful things she had said to me. Not only had I just lost two friends in a freak drunk driving accident, but I had lost Rosanna and ultimately her as well. Kevin was all I had left and people treated him with such hostility and accused me of being completely insane. Sometimes I came to believe them even if Kevin was nothing short of very real to me. The news of my “imaginary boyfriend” somehow spread to school and people began making fun of me too, and Rosanna was one of them. I couldn’t understand why she would do those things to me. Not only did we spent countless nights together in the company of Kevin but she even had the audacity to ridicule me in front of everyone.
After one particularly horrible day at school, I came home and locked myself up in my room and took out that same razor blade that I had cut myself with the first time. I had left it in my night table and I proceeded to create twelve bloody lines on my arm. My soul shattered under the fire of pain and the absence of momentary hope. In the middle of that crisis I called to Kevin in agape and he was there in a heartbeat. He took me into his gentle hold and was about to press his lips to my bleeding scars before I stopped him.
“Don’t,” I whispered to him, “let me show my mother first.”
“Why would you want to do that?” he asked me, seemingly puzzled.
“Let me show her my scars, and then kiss them away and I’ll show her my arm again.” “And what exactly are you trying to prove by doing this?”
“I’m going to prove to her that you’re real.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“Do you?”
“No, because I’m afraid she’s going to do something drastic because you cut yourself.” “She can’t do much worst than shun me like she already is.”
Kevin advised me to just cover up my arm and not show her since I wouldn’t let him erase them but I went right ahead and made my arm visible during breakfast the following morning.
“You’re not going to school like that!” she sternly told me after my siblings had left the table.
“Kevin is real mom, “I told her, “I’ll prove it to you.”
“And how do you think you’re going to do that?”
“He’s going to kiss my scars and all of them will fade away like they never were on my arm.”
She looked at me defiantly, not believing a single word I said. I gave her a defiant stare in return before I went up to my room and handed my arm over to Kevin. He tenderly kissed every scare and one by one they vanished and my skin returned to it’s soft pink state. I went back down and showed my mother. She didn’t know what she was seeing, and she even touched my arm to make sure they were really gone, but she still didn’t believe that I had a keeper named Kevin. To her the scars were just another crazy stunt for attention.
“She thinks I only want attention,” I whispered to Kevin in a sad voice. “Do you?” he asked me.
I grimaced at him, hurt at the fact that he thought that I was just doing that for attention too.
“The night I came to you I know the hurt was real,” he went on, “but now you’re angry. It’s not about grief or confusion anymore.”
“Go away Kevin,” I dismissed him before laying down on my and wishing that the sheets would suffocate me in my wake again.
Dead silence filled the entire house up until I heard my mother dial a number on the phone. I didn’t pay too much attention until she told the person on the other end that she was calling about me because she was afraid for my safety. I grunted loudly and slapped my head on the pillow next to me. I started to cry again and called on to Kevin to comfort me. He was there in the blink of an eye to make everything okay again just like he had the first time we met.
“Are you aware of what goes on in my life when you’re in the other dimension?” I ask him as I put my head on his chest.
“Yes,” he replied in a soft whisper, “but I can’t see or hear, I can only feel.”
“I’m so sorry I treated you so badly earlier. Please forgive me.”
“Already forgiven.”
He kissed my forehead and I traced his soft lips with my index finger afterwards. He kissed my finger and smiled at me like he always did. I caressed his soft cheeks with my hand and traced the beautiful features of his face. His face was only inches from mine and I could feel the tingle of his warm breath on my skin as I looked deeply into the sea of his eyes.
“Why did you commit suicide?” I whispered to him.
“I just couldn’t live with myself,” he replied as he closed his eyes, seemingly hurting.
I kissed his left eye as I put my fingers in his sandy hair and stroked it gently. I loved him so much, it was impossible for me to picture him hating himself so much that he thought suicide was the only way out. I kissed him and reveled at the amazing love he gave me any time I asked for it. I began to imagine that we had been sent to each other so we could help one another and fix each other. My fingers ran all over his scalp as my lips gently pressed against the skin of his face.
“Ain’t I the one who is supposed to kiss you?” he whispered to me grinning.
I grinned back at him and he took a hold of me and shifted our body positions so he was the one who could kiss me and stroke my face just like I did to him. I put my hand on the back of his neck and pulled him down towards me and we both kissed each other passionately. The feel of his hands on my neck and collar bone was enough to really make me crazy. Mine breathing rapidly accelerated but his slowed down since he didn’t need to actually breathe. Our perfect moment was disrupted when I heard my mother’s footsteps coming up the stairs. She then barged into my room without knocking and began to talk apprehensively about this apparent mental illness that I didn’t really have.
“I know you’ve been hurting a lot Arlene,” she told me, “but you need some help and I’ve arranged for you to live with your aunt and uncle in Portage. They have some good facilities to help you there too, so pack your bags.”
“You can just send me away!” I angrily shouted back, “I am not your property! I have a say in this!”
Kevin put his warm hands on my shoulders and softly whispered to me to comply with my mother for my own sake but I pushed him aside and had a screaming match with my mother. Kevin begged me to hear him out about the whole thing but I didn’t want to.
“No Kevin!” I shouted at him, “I’m not going!”
“Yes you are!” my mother shouted back at me, “And you’re going to get rid of Kevin!”
“I’m gonna get rid of you!” I defiantly shouted back at her, “I’m gonna pack my bags and go on vacation far away from you with aunt Marie and uncle Bill!”
She didn’t know what to reply to that. I looked over at Kevin who was still standing by my closet and grinned at him, knowing that we’d spend all our days together at aunt Marie’s and uncle Bill’s. My mother’s plan didn’t sound so bad after all and I more than willingly packed my bags with Kevin’s help. We smiled at each other the whole time and I marveled at how he could turn an awful situation into a pleasant one. Spending some time alone with him at my aunt’s and uncle’s house, I couldn’t have asked for better! And the timing was perfect too. I climbed over the bed and smooched him to say thank you and I grinned to myself in delight.
